It was a gorgeous February afternoon in Florida. 76 degrees and low humidity. I decided to take my work out on the patio, since mundane administrative tasks always more palatable when you can do them outside and enjoy the view.
As I was appreciating the beautiful weather, I started to wonder how much longer I'd be able to do this. How long before the heat and humidity rises, making the backyard unbearable? How long before the mosquitos start coming back? How many more days like this can I get? I needed to really savor this weather. So I decided to give myself a ten minute break, so that I could absorb the experience fully.
I shut my laptop, and put my books on the table beside me. I wanted to get comfortable and still. I closed my eyes, and began my embodied breathing.
Once I became completely connected to my body, that's when I could begin my awareness of the stimulus around me. I wanted to take note of how my body was reacting and interacting with my environment. With my eyes still closed, I listened to the birds. How many distinct species of bird were singing in my very own yard?
Gently opening my eyes, I began to focus on the branches over my head. I've lived in this house for three years, and I couldn't tell you if I'd ever noticed how tall the trees in my yards were. The sun was setting...could I make out all of the different colors along the horizon?
And then I decided to be very still, to see if I could feel the air around me. There was a gentle breeze, so gentle and calm that it made no sound as it moved through the trees. If I had still been reading, I wouldn't have even noticed it at all. But here and now, in this moment of perfect mindfulness, I was able to feel the breeze gently brush against my body, subtly tickling all of the tiny hairs on my arm. I could almost visualize the energetic flow as tiny currents of air hovered just over my skin.
And in that moment, as I was basking in the small and sublime pleasure of the delicate wind gently kissing my body...my nipples got hard.
And I became noticeably wet.
How delightfully amazing this was...to be able to become fully aroused, without any erotic imagery in my mind, or even a partner to flirt with!
I thought to myself, "Yes, this is exactly what I want my clients to experience. Total arousal from their own internal energy, just by appreciating the simple pleasures around them". I thought about each of my clients, and if I might be able to ever recreate this moment at our next appointment. I began to wonder what the best way of documenting this moment should be. Should I be writing this down? Should I grab my phone and document this with a video?
And just as quickly and gently as the arousal arrived, it started to fade away...
Because I was in my head. Because I started to think about something other than the moment that I was in.
How often does something like this happen to you when you are making love? Even when you are so caught up in your focus on the sexy person in front of you, perhaps you start thinking about them instead of fully experiencing them.
If I stayed in my head for a moment longer, that blissful experience was about to be gone.
Fortunately, I was able to course correct. But the way to let go of intrusive thoughts in a moment like this isn't to try to push them out. It's not like I could tell myself "Don't think. Don't think. Don't think."
Because the more that you battle with yourself, the more stuck you become.
Once you become aware that you are in your head, the way to get back into your body -- and into the moment -- is to slow down, and connect with your breath. It all begins there. Whether you are meditating, making love to yourself, or seducing your partner...it all begins with the breathing.
So I reconnected with my breath. By the fourth inhalation, I was back in ecstasy.
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